Engaged: The Story of the Epic Proposal

Daniel:

Pretty awesome story of how my little brother and his fiance got engaged. Jon and Makaya, I am really happy for you guys :)

Originally posted on Live for Loving:

Hiking Smith Rock the morning after the proposal. Hiking Smith Rock the morning after the proposal.

So everyone has been asking about how Jon proposed. And I jump at the opportunity to tell it again and again. He went above and beyond, just like he always does, to show me that he knows me, listens to me and loves me enough to want to spend the rest of his life with me.

And I want to share the story with you.

To give you a little background, Jon and I met three years ago at Young Life’s Washington Family Ranch during Campaigners Weekend Camp. We were both working in the kitchen; I was baking, Jon was serving. From the beginning I knew there was something special about this guy and his heart for Jesus was ridiculously attractive.

Inside Washington Family Ranch's Kitchen where Jon and I first met. Inside Washington Family Ranch’s Kitchen where Jon and I first met.

Ever since that initial meeting, that place out on Antelope…

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The Problem of the Gaijin

Coming back to Nagano after almost 10 years, one of the biggest differences I notice is the amount of Gaijin (foreigners) around. Seeing other white people where I grew up was quite an event. I always stared at them in fascination, wondering how they ended up in such a random place in rural Japan (only later recognizing the irony in that they were probably wondering the same thing).

Granted, I now live in tourism central with the Snow Monkey Park just minutes away, where upwards of 50,000 international tourists visit every year. Shiga Kogen, the largest ski resort in Asia, is 30 minutes up the mountain. Yet things have changed too. All of the sudden Japan is on the world’s travel map. People have realized that Japan does not equal Tokyo, it’s cheaper to travel to than America or Europe, it has amazing food, history and culture, and that it gets some of the best powder snow in the world. Even with the tsunami of 2011, inbound tourism to Japan has increased 30% per annum over the last several years.

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This presents a problem and an opportunity. In the age of cheaper Chinese manufacturing and depopulation (Japan has the lowest birth rate in the world) industries like tourism are necessary to the country’s long-term financial viability. I have wondered for years why Japan did such a poor job marketing themselves to the outside world. They have finally got the word out, but as a result of so much foreign influence, Japan (or the part of Japan that I know) will not stay the same. For Western cultures built on immigration and mingling, adding more people groups to the mix feels like a positive, diversifying influence. In Japan it makes me feel nostalgic, like part of their heritage will be lost forever (again, ironic because I am part of my own so-called problem).

Through the observation of international tourists, however, I have realized that there are constructive and infuriating people who come to this country. It’s well-known here that ski resorts like Hakuba and Niseko and are filled with more Gaijin than Japanese (these resorts are called little Australia). Two weeks ago, I went to something called a fire festival in Nozawa Onsen, where they burn that year’s New Years decorations and ornaments. I was excited to see a cultural event that dates back centuries, and to get some free sake. Instead, I found drunken foreigners (and Japanese for that matter) stumbling around yelling obscenities in the streets and getting into fights. It was unfortunate. I found it disappointing that in the one place that values respect above almost everything else, these people had none.

But I suppose that’s what travel is about. Once everyone has discovered a place it’s not exciting – at least for the genuine traveler. Hawaii is relaxing but I would not call someone who sips pina coladas on Waikiki Beach a very adventurous traveler. The most genuine cultural experiences happen when there isn’t anyone else who looks like you. And even if there is, it’s about wanting to know more about a place’s people, food, values etc. As a person who loves this place and loves travel, those are the types of travelers I appreciate the most – and welcome back.

“Adventure is a path. Real adventure – self-determined, self-motivated, often risky – forces you to have firsthand encounters with the world. The world the way it is, not the way you imagine it. Your body will collide with the earth and you will bear witness. In this way you will be compelled to grapple with the limitless kindness and bottomless cruelty of humankind – and perhaps realize that you yourself are capable of both. This will change you. Nothing will ever again be black-and-white.”

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The Crisis of the Day

Working at the front desk of a hotel, I’ve come to learn that my job is primarily about two things: Making people feel welcome and solving problems. And there are plenty of opportunities to practice each. That’s the challenging thing about working here, but also what makes it interesting. No two days are the same, and just by helping someone have a memorable stay, I have accomplished something. The Japanese staff and I joke about there being a different storm to weather every day, but I have grown the most by dealing with these “storms”. When we look back together, those are the things we remember and laugh about the most.

First, as I mentioned in a previous post there was the skier on New Years Eve who went down the wrong side of the mountain, calling at 4:30 PM (dusk) to say he was lost and couldn’t walk through the deep snow. Being the only English speaker, I attempted to calm him down and suggest what I would do in the same situation, knowing he wasn’t likely to make it out alive. Thankfully, through a series of fortuitous circumstances and dumb luck he did survive, and with a few tears and apologies life went back to normal. From that however, Ed the Australian taught me to appreciate all of the blessings and opportunities that I didn’t even know I had. Life could end so easily in so many ways. Also to avoid idiotic moves like skiing off the back side of a mountain by yourself in a foreign country when there is a blizzard coming in.

Next, there was Edith’s broken bone and insurance situation. While going off a jump at a local resort, she completely shattered her right arm. The doctor said she needed surgery but couldn’t fly for a week afterwards. The insurance needed proof of her injuries before they would pay for her surgery or fly her home. And the Japanese hospital only produced reports in Japanese, which the insurance company in Hong Kong could not read. The situation took a couple of days to resolve, and several times she sat – slumped rather – in the hotel lobby, sobbing. I did all I could, and learned that while everyone has the strength to deal with tough situations like this, a little moral support makes all the difference in the world.

Then there was Hubert the angry American. His name wasn’t actually Hubert but for some reason that’s what I’m calling him. He wanted everything for free because he was important (self-proclaimed) had photographed in 45 countries, and worked for all kinds of well-known magazines (repeating this several times). Hubert met an American student during his stay, who skied with him and helped him photograph the ski resorts of Shiga Kogen. Said student stayed an additional day to help Hubert, but failed to inform the hotel that he would not be checking out. Despite this, Hubert demanded that we also let this student stay for free. When I said this was obviously against hotel policy, I was told to “shut the f up” (4 times), that I did not understand the big picture, and that this was the worst service he had ever received (having of course, photographed in 45 countries across the globe for numerous other important magazines and publications). I made the mistake of laughing at him, and got a further soliloquy threatening to withdraw the ad in the important magazine he was photographing for. The whole situation was a mess. I learned from Hubert, however, to never ever treat someone like they are less than you, no matter how successful, rich or famous I might or might not become. As Federer would say, “It’s nice to be important, but it’s more important to be nice”.

Finally, there are the crises that we cannot resolve. I received a call yesterday saying there had been an avalanche on the mountain, and two Argentinian guys from our hotel had been involved. They found the bodies immediately and attempted CPR, but they had died upon impact. Actually I’m not sad for them: they traveled the world skiing and died painlessly while living out their passion. I am sad for the families. How do you tell someone that news? We have so little control over the things that we involve ourselves in every day. A single slip, a careless moment, a jerk of the steering wheel and our lives are over. That could be depressing or liberating. If you are reading this, you are probably healthy, at least somewhat wealthy (having a computer) and definitely alive. There is a lot to be thankful for. The suddenness and finality of death remind me to live every day the way we were meant to.

Those are my thoughts for today as I reflect on some sad, trying, and rich experiences.

Hanging out with good friends in Sugadaira

Hanging out with good friends in Sugadaira